The Prince’s Diary – 16th Entry

Oh dear diary,

I know I’ve been lacking the will to write my profane lines.  So many things to do: royal duties and lives to destroy.  Like two nights ago, it was supposed to be like any other night.  After fucking my brains out in my harem, I went to my private chambers to take a well deserved bath. 

While I was drying myself, I suddenly heard a noise.  It sounded like someone crawling up the walls.  I wondered who would be so bold as to spy me naked.  Didn’t they know that I offer full monties completely for free?  But my indignation turned to shock when everything in my private bathroom began to shake from side to side.

I got out of my bathroom as fast as I could, nakedness be damned.  This was an earthquake!  Castle Doom is not strange to tremors.  The main continent lays on a very active tectonic plate.  So I ran, failing to follow emergency standard proceedings when something like this happens.  Then I went out the door of my room when I saw a soldier running through the corridor, leaving a smelly trail of shit behind him.

My chambers are located on the sixth floor so I was watching as the corridors literately were moving from side to side.  The noise of the creaking foundation of the building hurt my ears while the coward slaves and soldiers ran up and down the corridor screaming and writing their wills in desperation.

My scare turned to fascination at the power of nature so I leaned on the wall and went back into my room.  If this was going to be my end I would go the way I like it. A lot of my stuff was already on the floor having fell down from the shelves and tables where they were put. 

The first earthquake was easing down while I was following my sudden moving bar to the other side of the room and served myself a glass of blood wine. There were two more replicas of that first tremor. Each quake stronger than the other. I still couldn’t believe how the castle was resisting such a powerful force of nature.  While I was trying to drink from my shaky glass, my comm started to beep.  It was father.  I heard his voice screaming my name: “Lotor!  Where are you nitwit son of mine?”

I turned on the video of my comm and saw my father in a very uncomfortable position under his desk.  His crown was bent almost covering his ugly face.  Gosh!  Even in the middle of an earthquake, he couldn’t just forget about me and try to save his pathetic life…

“Why are you calling me father?  Don’t you see that I’m in kind of a shaky situation?”  I asked annoyed.

“I know that, you nincompoop!  I’m under my desk because Haggar and all my soldiers ran away to save their butts!” he kept screaming.

“Then why don’t you try to do the same?”  I wondered.

“And leave my castle to looters and vandals?  Never!!  This castle is not falling down!  It was constructed to endure even eight pointers!  This is a state of the art fortress, not a mobile home!”

I didn’t know that information, but I could imagine that Castle Doom had to be very strong just for being as old as it was.  Doom can be as unstable as any planet of the galaxy.  Maybe it is more unstable, for all the mistreatment it has tolerated all these centuries.

“Well father,” I said sitting on one of the stools that didn’t fall down. “Al least you can’t say that I ran away”.

“But it’s still all your fault!” my father answered.  I couldn’t believe why would he blame me for the whole earthquake thing.

“And why is this all my fault, father?” I narrowed my eyes “Do you think that I can create earthquakes now?”

“Insolent! Haggar and the soldiers ran away because of you!” my father pointed at me.

“But that’s your witch and your soldiers!” I gestured.

“Soldiers that you trained and a witch that is working side by side with you!” he spat back at me. “I hold you responsible for this act of cowardice!”

My mouth was opened preparing to protest to another one of my father’s lack of justice (or logic) conclusions.  But I decided to let it go once more.  So I just answered:  “Yes father, I’ll be in your office as soon as the carpets get cleaned up.”

This is the war of never winning, not even an earthquake can bring me peace in Doom.  So after drinking my wine I went right up to my bed and stared at the ceiling.  This was going to be a long long night…