The Prince’s Diary – 2nd Entry

“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward” (Greene, 1999)

I woke up very tired this morning. I could hardly stand up; it was a restless night. Yesterday was pretty much hectic. I had been working all day, with no  breaks at all. So now, my body is protesting all over for all that mistreatment that I’ve been giving it.

 So I slowly went to the bathroom. When I looked into the mirror, I got the scare of my life. My long white hair was all entangled, my eyes were all puffy and half closed and my face was in desperate need of a new shave. Oh gods…I looked like a character coming out of a “Nightmare of Smurf Street” movie!! So I urgently started my cleansing ritual.

I usually begin my ritual by scratching my chest while I yawn, for some reason it always itches in the mornings and there seems to be a connection between the scratching and the yawning. Don’t ask me why, but I simply can’t do one thing without doing the other. Oh well, all I know is that my face needs some serious cold water or else I can’t completely wake up. After the ice cold water splashes my face, I keep looking at myself in the mirror and opening my eyes to see if they still have that golden bright color which tells me that they’re ok. It usually makes me feel better, but they still look puffy during the mornings. Then, I get the hair out of my face and decide to comb it.

Now I don’t know if everyone else does this, but whenever I comb my hair, I look at the comb to see how much hair I’m shedding. Alas! Whenever I take the fallen hair out of it, I wish I could sow it back into my scalp. There’s nothing more traumatizing for me to see that I’m loosing my hair. My beautiful white abundant hair! It always reminds me that my father is bald. Completely china doorknob plain bald!!

I’ve heard that baldness is hereditary. That’s one of the reasons I wish that somehow I was adopted, even if I know that my father would never be so kind to adopt any kid. It is another reason to hate my genetic tie with my father. And I honestly thought that the amphibian ears with the Lucille Ball eye brows were the worst of it…(Haven’t you noticed his eyebrows?) Just look closer and you’ll see what I mean.

I know that there are other reasons for loosing hair, and one of those reasons is my favorite hobbie: sex. Yeah, a lot of it can cause baldness. It has to do with hormones. But that is a risk that I’m willing to take…I could never stop dirty dancing in my dark romances. That’s the only way I can really enjoy what’s left of my sanity!! My libido…it’s like my credit card…I can never leave home without it!

Talking about my libido, I always have to relief my body from it’s excess of baggage.  Now, why the hell do my balls itch so much in the process? I start scratching them and then the urge of release is greater…so I obey the plea of my body and it’s so relieving…

So I shrug and shake my head before my mirror image and I continue with my cleansing ritual. I tie my hair back so I could start the shaving ritual. Soon my face is covered with shaving foam and I start shaving my neck. Now the shaving ritual is always the same routine. You start with the neck, then with the mustache and then all around my cheeks. Today I felt the temptation to leave a lock on my face. I considered that a white mustache with some kind of a beard would make me look distinguished.

I looked at my reflection…and oh, I did look older. Did I see a resemblance to Hazar there? I shook my head again and said: “Nah…I don’t think so…let’s take it all off” So I did. Just plain old me again. As I always do, I splash the after shave all over my face. Hair neatly combed, face shaved and washed and then comes the fangs.

 I make a fake smile so I can see how my fangs are all covered …(I’m not gonna even mention it). It’s maybe the most important part of drules cleansing rituals. If your fangs ain’t pearly white, you can’t conquer the world. Good looking fangs reflect fear, ferocity and power. It’s an important part of a drule’s physical appearance. It gives you status and respect. So I’m very assiduous with the flossing and brushing of my teeth. Oh, and never forget the mouth wash with the minty fresh taste. Aaaahhh…Refreshing! Now I genuinely smile at the mirror. Yep, I’m again the handsome chap that all my harem girls dream about.

Now I’m all cleaned up so I get my clothes and are soon ready to face my Doom, I mean…my job. Next entry…a day at work.

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4 Responses to “The Prince’s Diary – 2nd Entry”

  1. So you’re a Drule Model. Eh? well. i can settle for that. you sure have a strong way of telling your cleaning ritual. i just wish i had the same drive. but my personal hygiene is the death trap. i suck at it. but i think it’s because i am too lazy. it’s stupid i know. but i think the first step of changing it is by admitting that you have a problem concerning it and coming to the fact that: “Hey, you got a problem there Player! you better get to steppin’ and take care of it” i like the entry though. it’s really expressive.

  2. So cute you must scratch your chest while yawning and yawning while scratches your chest! If you like, take a big yawn and I will scratch, so you can stretch your arms in the mornings!

    Stay evil, happy and well!

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